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FROM THE PEN OF AN AMATEUR WRITER.

Rapunzel!! O Rapunzel!!! Just set me free

I accept, I’m an unmanageable, attention seeking witch..

But, that doesn’t give the permission, to keep me captive.

Tousled, roped and held up so tight,

Void of colours, streaks and the breathtaking highlights…

I was, once a free bird, who loved to twirl in the fragrant breeze,

Swagger around, like a seasoned trapeze…

Oh! One glance, Just one glance, and I had the audience, on their knees..

To be untangled, is all, that I wish.

Caressed, tended, a desire to be, once again, cherished..

Rapunzel!! O Rapunzel!! Just set me free!!

Truly yours,

Messy bun

#lockdown2020

Happy Teacher’s Day!!

They are sweet as sugar and hard as ice..

And they always give good advice..

They cheer us, when we cry,

They teach us never to give up, without a try,

They are the answers to all our questions,

They always show us the right direction,

They helps us to learn new things,

And become good human beings.

So let me tell you who they are,

They are our teachers, our guiding stars.

Happy teacher’s day!!

P.S. I scavenged the Internet to find a poem on teachers which kids could recite..Sadly, I couldn’t find any. It seems that not much is written about our teachers. So, I wrote one for my munchkin to recite. Hope you like it.

Happy Teacher’s Day!!

They are sweet as sugar and hard as ice..

And they always give us good advice..

They cheer us up, when we cry,

They teach us, never to give up, without a try,

They are the answers to all our questions,

They always show us the right direction,

They helps us to learn new things,

And become good human beings.

So let me tell you who they are,

They are the teachers, our guiding stars.

Happy teacher’s day!!

P.S. I scavenged the Internet to find a poem on teachers which kids could recite..Sadly, I couldn’t find any. It seems that not much is written about our teachers. So, I wrote one for my munchkin to recite. Hope you like it.

A letter to my ex-husband

“ I hope my letter finds you well. It’s been months, since we parted. And my wounds are still sore..but guess, it will heal with time. You were the love of my life and it was difficult, to let you go. But, I knew, I couldn’t hold onto you, any longer. You fell out of love and found new love. I was shattered, humiliated, and completely lost.

I never saw this day coming, but I was aware of our existing indifferences.I had to let you go. My friends tell me, to hate you as you cheated on me. I hate you. I really do. I wish I could hate you more.

I hope you and your better half are enjoying life.

You must be spending hours, talking to each other, hearing each other’s unsaid words.

You must be trying to squeeze in time, despite of your busy schedule.

The dinner dates, the quick getaways must be enthralling.

The hugs, the kisses, the romance must be at its peak.

The surprises, the bouquets, must be adding more colors to your new life.

I know, that you are there for her, when she needs a shoulder to cry on. You are there to heal, that knife cut, on her finger.

I know, that you can do anything for her.

Have been there..Isn’t it??

She must be making all your favourite dishes. Love makes you do that. Love makes you do strange things.

She must be keenly listening to all your stupid jokes.

She must be making all the adjustments, to make you happy.

You both must be making sacrifices, for the happiness of the whole family.

I have done that. Isn’t it??

We have been there, isn’t it??

When we started our marital journey, it was pure bliss. We were inseparable. You would squeeze in time from your busy schedule to be with me.

You would surprise me with a million roses. I still remember those mesmerising dinner dates. How we gazed at each other for hours. How inseparable we became. How we made sacrifices to adjust with each other.

And then, with the clock ticking, the spark faded and we grew apart. The dinner dates stopped, so did the bouquets or the weekend getaways. Somehow we forgot to love each other, amidst all the responsibilities. We started weighing the sacrifices and adjustments, we made.

And then one fine day, you fell out of love, while I was still waiting for that spark to regain its strength. It didn’t revive. You didn’t try enough and neither did I.

Today, I met someone. I could feel that spark. But, I’m too scared to go near that spark. What if, it fades away?? What if, I’m betrayed, yet again??

With time, all the relationships fade away, the spark ceases to exist. The communication dies an early death, and we are left to phantom the truth.

I wish, I could hit the send button, but, we had stopped communicating, way before you filed that divorce. We never shared our thoughts, our concerns, our grievances. We took each other for granted, and it created more indifferences. So much, that one day, we were sitting on a mountain of grievances, unable to locate the love, that brought us together. “

**********

Just then, he snatched my phone from me.. And I ran after him.

“What are you writing??” Rahul asked.

“Just another blog.”

“A letter to my ex husband. Hey, the last time I checked, we were married. Isn’t it? I wonder, when I became your ex..”

“This is just a thought. May be my worst nightmare. Sometimes I think, what if we stop communicating and postpone resolving our problems, and…..”

“Priya, problems will be there, but, don’t worry, I will be there for you. We will sort it out…now let me read, your worst nightmare..”

P.S: This article is a piece of fiction. Just trying to convey the importance of communication between couples. Most of the time, we don’t communicate our real feelings with each other, and the problems starts piling up. Find time to solve those problems. That’s the key to happiness. But, yes, if the love of your life cheats on you, let that person go.

Complete???

“Why should I try to fit in, when I can just stand out??” Thought Sita.

Harvard degree, 8 figure salary, a BMW, she had it all.

“You can’t be complete without a marriage.” Argued her parents.

16yrs down the line, with 2kids and a divorce, she was standing at the alter, yet again, trying to fit into the ostentatious society’s definition of “COMPLETE.”

“Mom, are you sure, you wanna do that??” Riya winked, as she pressed the car keys into her hand.

Sita felt “Complete” at that moment!!!

The thrill…

“What do you want from life?” Asked Samir.

“I don’t know.” Shrugged Riya. “I truly don’t know. May be some happiness??”

“So, you are not happy??”

“I don’t know Samir. I’m happy. But not the right amount of happy.”

“Right amount??” Smirked Samir.

“Hmm..it’s difficult to explain. It’s like, something is missing. And I don’t know what exactly is missing.”

“You have a beautiful life. Isn’t it?? A beautiful home, a career to die for, and the best person in the whole wide world as your husband.” He said with a boastful grin.

“Whole wide world?? Isn’t that too much?? Don’t think so highly of yourself.”

“So, you mean, I’m not the best??”

“You are. But..”

“What but?? What else do you need in life to make you happy?? People who know you, are actually jealous of you.”

“Nah!! No one is..or may be few are.. but, still Samir…there’s something missing. I don’t know. I want some thrill. Life’s gotten to busy and boring. A thrill would be nice..My life is no more challenging. People have to deal with so many challenges, struggles, and I get everything so easy. It’s like, things have been readymade for me. Let’s forget it.”

“You are nuts Riya. Simply nuts.”

************

A week later. Samir’s phone beeped.

An incoming message fm an unknown number, “Meet me at 5.” Read Riya.

She didn’t pay a heed. Got ready. And both left for work. Samir dropped Riya to her office.

Next morning. Incoming msg fm Jas.

“When shall me meet today?”

Next few mornings, Jas continued with the messages. “Loved it yesterday.”

“Let’s meet over tea.” Sometimes coffee.

Riya, trusted Samir. But somewhere down, she felt anxious. She wanted to know who this Jas was.

She had no intentions of following Samir. But that morning, the message, read;

“The best date ever. Thanks.”

This was it. The last straw.

She left her office early. Her heart was beating faster than usual.

What if, Samir is having an affair?? What if, she sees Samir with another girl?? What will she do?? She wanted to turn back.

But, how could Samir do this to her?? There was no change in his behaviour towards her. They were as lovey-dovey, as before. But, these messages, had a different story to tell.

She was standing outside “The Cafe 3/4th”

She peeked in. Yes, Samir was there. But with a man. They were talking over something. She hurried back, before Samir could see her.

She was happy that it wasn’t a girl. She had expected one. A sigh of relief. But it didn’t last for long.

“What if, Samir is gay??”

They have known each other for long. But history suggests that many men hide their true identities to avoid defamation. But, their conjugal life was great.

Then why would Samir keep meeting this guy over coffee??

She wanted to ask Samir, but resisted herself.

Next morning. The phone beeped yet again.

And before Riya could take a peek, Samir rushed towards it. He had a smile on his face. The smile reminded her of something.

Their initial courting phase. Samir had the same smile, the same, as before.

Riya’s heart couldn’t take it anymore. She felt suffocated.

“Who is it??” She asked.

“Someone from work.” Samir replied with his charming smile.

Riya didn’t like it at all..

She couldn’t concentrate in office. She started imagining all sorts of things. Samir with that guy. Samir leaving her. Getting married to Jas. And what not.

That night, she thought of confronting Samir.

“Samir, I wanted to talk to you about something. I mean Jas.”

“So, you know?? I knew I couldn’t hide it for long. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

“Tell me now. I’m totally shocked Samir. I mean, what’s going on between the two of you. I’m sorry, but I hv seen few of your texts.”

“I wanted to tell you long time ago..but didn’t have the courage to do so. In fact, I was sure, I couldn’t hide this from you any more. I’m sorry, that it had to come out this way. I’m…I’m…”

Before he could complete, Riya spoke..”GAY?”

“Gay?? What gay??”

“You are gay Samir. It’s okay. You wanted to come out. But then, why did you love me or marry me?? Do you really love me?? Or is this all fake??” Riya burst into tears.

“Riya..Stop crying. Why the hell did you think I’m gay?? Or in love with a guy?? I’m perfectly straight and I love you like crazy.”

“But…but…the coffee dates??The messages?? What about those??”

“Remember my best friend, Vihaan?? A few weeks ago, he came out. He is gay. He has been struggling a lot from few years. No one noticed. He was on the verge of committing suicide. Thankfully, he opened up to me. JAS is a co-worker, Jaswinder?? Remember him??”

“Oh ! God, Jas is Jasminder?? But, I couldn’t recognise him at the cafe that day.”

“Have you been spying on me??”

“No..I mean yes..but, Sorry. Plz tell me the whole thing.”

“Riya?? How could you?? Anyways, will deal with this later. Jas has always been very open about his preferences. I knew he was looking for a partner. So, I took the opportunity and introduced him to Vihaan. And viola!! They connected. So, Jas threw a party in my honour, that day. If you would have waited a bit longer, you would have seen Vihaan too. But you had to have everything your way. How could you Riya?? How could you??”

“I’m sorry. You smiled that day..and that smile was so, like the smile, when we used to date. I got confused. And the messengers…oh!! I’m so sorry Samir. Please forgive me.”

“On one condition..Next time, if you are in doubt, ask me immediately. Don’t wait for the problem to brew in your head.”

“There won’t be a next time Samir.”

A few weeks later.

“So, are you still missing something in your life?? The thrill??”

“I had the thrill of my life. Believe me, I’m feeling blessed to have you. My life is all good. Don’t want any more thrills.”

Samir’s phone beeped. He had the same smile, the charming smile….

AND THE THRILL CONTINUES….

The storm…

It was raining like cats and dogs. The sound of the thundering shuddered every nerve of her body, wreaking havoc, to her thoughts.

It was one such storm, some seven years back, which swallowed everything, she ever had. Every time a lightening streaked through the sky, she would hold her womb, tight. But this time, she wouldn’t give in, without a nasty fight.

She could sense the storm long before it made its appearance. And she was ready this time. She held to her womb, as the wind screeched through her neighborhood. She thought of it as a hungry monster, scavenging through the place, in search of an easy prey.

Suddenly, there was pin drop silence. Just like, it was seven years ago. The storm was gathering strength to ruin her life, like before.

A tin sheet blew and fell an inch from her door. The lantern wick was about to die. She shielded it, like her last hope. The wick gained strength, but so did the storm.

Her roof wouldn’t hold for long, neither was her walls, that strong. Fear was overpowering her strength, as she cuddled her womb once again.

Pangs of hunger kicked her, as she pushed the heavy trunk to guard the feeble door.

The storm ravaged through her village, devouring many on its way. The roof above her head, was on the verge of blowing away. She prayed, she chanted, all the hymns that she had ever known.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door, at this ungodly hour. Her heart skipped a beat. She looked at the sickle, with a heavy sigh.

“Open the door..Or I will break in…” said a familiar voice with a creepy, devilish smile.

No, this time, she won’t help the storm devour her. With the sickle in her hand, she was waiting for the storm to break her door.

Seven years ago, the storm has swallowed her, and her unborn child, but this time, she was no longer naive.

The knock became prominent, so did her struggle, to keep the door shut.

Finally, a lightning struck, so strong and so bright. It shook her bones, shattered her nerves.The sickle fell on the floor. Her hands trembled, but the knocking was heard no more..

Beads of sweats kept rolling, befriending the tears on its way. The storm has passed, for the day.

She caressed her womb, expecting it to kick back. But her unborn child was murdered by the storm, some, seven years back.

The morning brought calm, as the sun penetrated through the holes crafted by the storm, on the roof.

The whispers near her door, soon transformed into yell and shrieks. Seeing the lightening struck Sarpanch and his bottle, lying dead, was a huge relief.

While many mourned in grief, few secretly rejoiced the death of the bloody creep.

The devourer was finally devoured!!

And then she eloped…

That was no ordinary night. That was her wedding night and she had made a masterplan to elope. 

“Are you crazy? How can you elope on your wedding night?” Her bosom friend almost collapsed asking her.

But, with a grin on her face, she got up from the bed, caressing the vermillion lehenga. 

“What will your parents do, once they find out? They will have the face the wrath of the whole society. And whom are you planning to elope with?? You…you, don’t even have a boyfriend. Or do you have a secret one??” 

“Yup…I’m planning to elope with my life…Hey!! Wouldn’t this legenga look damn good on me?? The color, suits…..”

“Simran, you are crazy?” 

“I am. I truly am. Believe me, I’m not a marriage material. I don’t want to marry. But, I do love this ‘dressing up as a bride’ thing. Oh! The lehenga, the jewelleries, the make-up, these are all so enticing. I want all this, but not the wedding.”

“And what about Raghav?? He will be devastated, if you leave him at the wedding.”

“Hmm…I do like him. I would have ended up marrying him, someday. But not today. He is a perfect husband material.” 

“Then, why do you want to run away?? And if this has been your eternal plan, then, why not just talk about this, with your parents?”

“Talk with them?? Pagal kutte ne nahi kaata!! They will kill me, if I decide not to marry. So, it’s better for me to just elope/run away, whatever!!”

“Whatever?? How can you be casual?? What about your parents, maan, samaan, izzat, pride, prestige…..”

“Aaaaa….hold on girl..I don’t need so many synonyms to understand what you are trying to suggest. They won’t listen Saniya. They won’t. Do you think, I’m so cunning not to understand their situation?? I understand. But they don’t. They never would.”

“Then why?”

“Hmmm…call me crazy. I like Raghav. But I really don’t don’t him or understand him that well. AND I don’t like his mum. She is as cunning as one can be. She wants a doting bahu, which I cannot be even if I take re-birth. She can never let her son go. I want a husband, not a mamma’s boy. I want to live my life, and marriage is not the only way to live ones life.”

“And how are you so sure that he’s a mama’s boy?? He might be different.”

“Huh!! I know. I simply know. I want to live my life on my terms. And that won’t be possible if I get married to him. If I get married today, I would end up unhappy. And that’s not the way I see myself.”

“Most women are. But still people get married. Most parents know, and yet they get their daughters married. That’s been going on for centuries. No one can change that.”

“I’m not that ‘no one’. I’m someone. Someone very special. I cannot adjust to the life that my parents want me to live.” She replied, as she locked her suitcase.

“I’m going away. I don’t want to take the blame. They are gonna charge me, once they find, that you have eloped.”

“And they will keep searching for the boy, I ran off with.” She bursts into laughter.

Saniya leaves.

Simran wore them vermillion lehenga. She looked ravishing..Admired herself, in front of the mirror.

Her mom entered. 

“Mom, how am I looking??”

“Looking like, you are ready to run away.”

With shock in her eyes, “Maa…??”

“It’s in your blood, my dear. I had planned for the same, on the day of my wedding. But, I couldn’t. I was not that strong. But, I really wish, you could.”

“Maa!!!” Her eyes welled up, as she hugged her.

“Just don’t look back. If you look back once, you won’t be able to run away.”

“Maa, how will you manage?? Everyone will blame you.”

“No, no one will..just wait a minute.”

Mrs. Sharma, left the room. And she came back with a suitcase in her hand.

“Because, I will elope with you. I’m tired of the thankless unappreciated sacrifices, I have made. And I don’t want the same for you. Every time, I look at my wasted degrees, I feel sorry. I don’t want you to feel the same. I was weak. I’m still weak. I still don’t have the courage the face them. But, you are my strength. I can’t let the world treat you, the way, they have treated me. I want your presence to be felt.” 

They walked down the stairs, with a suitcase in one hand. Her father, looked at her, from a distance. She waved him goodbye. 

“Going to the parlour to get ready??” Enquired an acquaintance.

“Yes, she is going to get ready for her new life.” Replied her mom.

**********************

On Simran’s bed, there was a note.

“Sorry papa, for once, mumma and me, are going to live our lives, on our terms. I wish you could understand, how it felt, being in a cage. We want freedom. If possible, forgive us!!”

Lockdown; Then and now….

Pandemic!! Believe me..this word looked better in the dictionary than in the newspapers. Never thought, that I could ever be a part of a Pandemic.

But here I am, and so is the whole world, struggling to deal with this unwanted, merciless, uninvited guest.

22nd March, was the day when West Bengal announced lockdown, and soon the entire nation was at a standstill. There was so much confusion, so much misinformation, so much fear and panic, that it took me a while to understand what actually was happening.

Just a week before the lockdown, I had attended a wedding, stayed at a five star, which hosted many foreigners. Thinking about all this, fear gripped me hard, and wouldn’t let me go. Prior to this, I had heard about Covid 19, but never thought it would be knocking at my door. A fear gripped me. I was dead scared. May be I’m infected or my family is. And it was followed by few sleepless nights, lots of panic and lots of Google.

Every time I went to buy essentials, I felt that strange fear gripping me. To be very honest, it still does , but it’s intensity has reduced over the last few months.

May be, we have just gotten used to this pandemic. Fear for the safety of the near and dear ones, has always been there and it will be there, till our last breath. Only thing is that, right now, it’s at its peak due to so much uncertainty.

But, life goes on. It has to go on. We have to go out, we have to work, earn our living, eat, sleep, stay calm, stay happy, stay safe…and most importantly survive and help others. Panic will just worsen the situation.

What started in Wuhan, spread to the rest of the world. Entered India, then our own state, finally our City, then our neighborhood, and then few distant family members.

It’s spreading…spreading like wild fire…devouring everyone that’s coming it’s way. But, definitely there’s a way out. We can stay safe. Follow the necessary protocols very strictly, maintain hygiene, stay healthy and most importantly, become a responsible citizen.

Covid 19, has given me lots of sleepless nights, had made me worry like hell, had even made me cry, thinking about my son, my better half, my parents, friends and the world as a whole..

But with time, I have learnt to deal with it. I have learnt to control my fear, my anxiety, the stress. Uncertainties still remain..But, that’s life. Isn’t it??

Surviving a pandemic is not a joke. But history suggests that we have survived through many and we will do so, once again.

Be responsible!! Act responsibly!! Be there for someone in need. Don’t panic, try easing the stress of people around you. Be positive and spread positivity.

This too shall pass!!!

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