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FROM THE PEN OF AN AMATEUR WRITER.

Spare us please…

“Boy!! Green ears!!! Pink body!! Sheela and Veer are going to laugh their lungs out.”

“I hate colors. Last time, it took almost four months for the colors to fade. It was all itchy. And..pink isn’t even my favourite color.”

“Lucy is so lucky. She has a family..”

“Don’t be sad. You have me. BTW!! You didn’t escape the colors…You have a pink tail.”

Sheru and Kalu wagged their tail, as they met Sheela and Veer for lunch, at the dustbin. Sheela had few rustling cans tied to her tail. Veer was licking the golden paint off his fur.

What happens when a man marries a man instead of a woman???

If you were to define marriage, what would it be?

For some it may be union of two souls, two families. For some it may be a life long imprisonment and yet, for some an expression of freedom. For some it may the beginning of life. For some it may be the end of life. And so on… 

Those who are married will define it on the basis of their experience as a married woman.

And those who are not married will define it as per their fantasies, their hopes and expectations.

A woman marries a man with lots of expectations, but most of the times, her expectations are marred by the over expectations generated by her new family. She has to transform into an epitome of sacrifice to become a part of the new family. 

But what if, men married men?? I know that now it’s legal as per article 377… But let’s imagine a hypothetical situation where men married men.

How would the situation of the newly married man be in his new family?

*Will the man move in with the love of his life and become a part of his family? 

*Will he get up early in the morning to prepare tea and serve the whole family?

*Will he leave his job to look after his new family?

*Will he cook and clean for the whole family?

*Will he dress according to the wish of the man he married or his family?

*Will he be criticised for not being able to handle the household chores as effectively as his in-laws?

*Will he be targeted for the slightest mistakes that he makes?

*Will he be told to sacrifice his family for the sake of his in-laws?

*Will he be questioned and shamed for the late nights?

*Will he be forbidden to look after his parents both emotionally as well as financially?

What kind of expectations will his in-laws have from him? Will it be same as the expectations they keep from a woman their son marries??

And lastly, what will be the answers to the above questions?? 

Will the answers be free from gender bias??

 

Or will the man & his family be treated differently?? If yes, then why is a woman treated differently in the same marriage??

P.S. This article has been not written with an intention to hurt the gay couples. I have huge respect for each and everyone who has the courage to fight our rigid society. 

Sorry, my son….

You are my eternal unending dream.

A dream that I was dared not to dream.

But, I dreamt about you, day and night,

One day in my arms, I will hold you tight.

A choice was to be made “Either you or me.”

He wanted me, but I chose thee.

He cried, as you slept in my arms all curled,

He held you tight, as I left for the heavenly world.

Today, you’re brimming with life.

And he’s upset, that I’m not standing by his side.

 

We could’ve been a great team…

Sorry son, for becoming your eternal unending dream!!

An investment plan for your kids that guarantees assured returns…

What exactly is “Quality time with kids”?

How many of you spend quality time with other kids??

And what exactly is spending quality time, with your loved ones?

You sitting with your kid, watching your favourite soap or watching their favourite cartoon..Do you consider this as quality time??

Or you sitting with your cell phone/laptops answering mails, while your son sits with you, waiting for your attention…Do you consider that as quality time?

Or you cooking or handling other household chores while your kid tags along…Is that quality time??

Well…No that is not. And I think we all are aware of it.

Quality time would be the time you religiously devote to each other, everyday. The time where you and your kid, do things that both of you love or enjoy, the time when you give undivided attention to your kid. 

It may be anything, starting from kneading play dough to playing scrabble to talking to each other, or telling a story or playing football, or running around the house with no purpose at all, or painting or mimicking…it can be any thing that makes you happy as a family.

And believe me, it doesn’t need your undivided attention for the whole day, just 30mins to an hour a day would do the magic. However, do make sure that, you spend that particular hour, with your kid without any sort of distractions from your phone or laptops or any other things. And once you start doing it, you, yourself will feel the difference. This will help you strengthen your relationship with your kids as well as a family. 

I have heard many parents complaining, that once their kids grow up they don’t interact or listen to them. “mere bacche to meri sunte hi nahi hai. Time kahan hai??” 

But my question is, why? Why wouldn’t your kid listen to you? They will. They definitely will. If you keep talking to them everyday. And by talking I don’t mean, eat your food. Finish your homework. Clean your cupboards. 

I mean, How was your day? What did you do today? This is what I did, when you were in school. Let’s sit and play scrabble or come let’s go and play football. How about a cricket match today? Or how about you come and help me in the kitchen while we talk to each other?

When I was a kid, Tv itself was a privilege. A few channels. That too closely monitored by my parents. No cell phone, no internet. Social networking was mostly, talking to your friends and family, playing Ludo, Chess, Carrom(at times cheating too😜😜). And somehow I feel that has made me a better person. I talk to my parents a lot. And definitely not on watspp. I prefer phone calls or meeting them up at regular intervals. And this is what I expect from my kid. 

And it can happen, if and only if, I devote my time to him. I would always prefer a phone call from him, telling me that Yes Maa, I’m fine. Rather than a watspp msg with a smiley that “Maa..chill..I’m fine😀”

You reap what you sow. If you invest your time in your kid, your kid will most probably repay it, by investing their time in you. But for making this happen, they have to learn to spend time as a family. And it’s definitely not sitting in front of the tv watching a movie. It should be sitting inside a tent, playing with his favourite toys. Scratching your head to win a game of scrabble. Or taking the perfect catch to get a wicket. Or laughing at jokes or listening to ghost stories. 

Invest your time in your kids. Don’t bribe them to compensate for the paucity of time. It’s easier to mould them at a tender age. Make them learn the importance of family and devoting time for the family. They imbibe everything from you. They imitate you. So be the perfect role model for them. 

Time is the best thing that you can invest for your kids. And it’s comes at no extra cost.

You must do the things that you think you cannot do…

You must do the things that you think you cannot do…

Well!! I had just done the thing that I thought I could never do. 

Right after we got married, both me & my husband enrolled ourselves in Driving classes. It was a 15days class. We both were equally new to it. While my husband became a proficient driver by the end of fifteen days, I was still struggling with the ABC of driving. So, my class was extended to another 15days, which also didn’t add much to my already existing glory. 

So after a month of driver’s training program, I was almost where I had stared from. Somehow, I couldn’t gather the courage to take control of the steering wheels. So I left it altogether and chose the passenger seat of the car. 

My husband persuaded me to practice. But I was too reluctant to even try. And to tell you the truth, I was terrified of driving.

But, even as a child, I always wanted to feel the thrill of holding the steering wheels, feel the wind brushing through my hair. But mostly, it was that feeling of self esteem. The feeling that, yes, I too can drive. I wanted all that. But, was just to scared to achieve it.

So, I simply erased the desire to drive from my dreams. Driving was not my cup of tea.

But after almost 8years, my ever enthusiastic husband, once again started wrecking my nerves. Initially, I ignored. But later, I gave in.

And this time, we were in Delhi. A new city with its new set of challenges. Once again I was in the driver’s seat. Once again I was scared. Once again I was ready to give up. Once again, the 15days course was extended to 30days. And once again I was on the verge of failing. 

But this time, my husband was not ready to see me succumb to my fears. And he kept pestering me not to give up. And somehow this helped. I started gaining confidence. But still not enough to drive on my own. I could drive only if my partner in crime was sitting next to me. 

Otherwise my hands trembled. My heart would beat so loud that I could hear it. Every honk, every vehicle getting closer to mine would scare me. And I would lose my confidence with every passing and honking vehicle. So much, that once again I started formulating reasons not to drive. I started making silly excuses. But he didn’t give up on me.

One advice from my husband, that really helped me was, that until and unless you drive alone, you will never gain confidence. You will always know that I will be there to rescue you. 

So finally I took to the wheels all by myself. I drove through the busy roads, I wouldn’t change gears as long as possible(it sounds silly…but it did help), every honk would make me tremble, every vehicle approaching me would shake me to the core, but I kept driving. And after 3-4 days, I started gaining confidence. And within a week, the honks, the gears, the passing vehicles, stopped bothering me. I drove at my convenience, at my speed, least caring about what the world would think. All I took care of was, that,  my mind, my eyes and my ears were wide open while I drove through the men’s world.

One tip: Drive at a speed that you are comfortable at. Don’t worry about other’s judging you, they will judge you even if you were Michal Schumacher. Don’t let the honks bother you. If someone’s in a hurry, they should have moved earlier from their homes to reach their destination. Speeding is not the solution. And always remember, everyone learnt to drive the same way as you did.. They didn’t come out of the womb as trained drivers. 

Drive for the sheer pleasure of driving. 

The day Shiv ji opened his third eye, and Pralay came…

Chotu was standing at the gate. He was shocked seeing so many people mostly ladies entering the temple premises. Everyone was carrying a packet or a tumbler of milk. He could savour the taste of milk just from its smell. He remembered the last time when he had tasted milk. It was when his mother, got an extra work at the building where she worked as a maid. Whenever Reema got an extra cleaning to do, for a day, she would get a packet of milk for her 4 year old Chotu. Life was tough for them, but Chotu never understood what tough actually meant. He was happy playing around the temple area. But, never dared to enter it. His mother had given him strict instructions about not to enter the temple, or else Purohit ji would get very angry.

Chotu, had often seen Purohit ji, coming on a scooter. He had a fat belly which would shake, as he walked in and out of the temple carrying a goodie bag loaded with fruits and laddus. Laddu, made his mouth water, but, he didn’t mind not having it, as long as he could see the tumbling belly of Purohit ji. He would eagerly wait outside the temple gate just to have, his share of fun.

But, today was different. There was milk in everyone’s hand. And he couldn’t resist his love for milk. So, he mustered courage and entered the temple. Lost among the crowd comprising of people of all age group, he somehow managed to see the deity. Oh! That was Shiv ji. He had a picture of him, at home. Everyone was pouring milk on him, but sadly he was not interested in drinking it at all. He could see, all the milk flowing drown the drain. He was a bit sad, but still he went ahead, with glistening eyes to meet his Shiv ji. What amazed him about Shiv ji was that, he was the god with three eyes. Others only had two eyes. And his Maa had told him, that the day Shiv ji opened his third eye, all their problems will be solved. He would get milk daily, as Shiv ji was very kind.

With eyes full of hope, he sneaked through the crowd, but his bad luck once again betrayed him. Purohit ji, caught him entering the Shiv temple. Chotu was shaking (almost, as much as Purohit ji’s belly), as the preacher of religion, started shouting at him.

“How dare you enter? This is a temple, not a place for beggars. If you want to beg, then beg outside. Do you know, you have made Shiv ji angry by entering the premises of this temple. Ab to unki teesri aankh khul jayegi aur pralay(devastation) aa jayega. Bhag yaha se!!”

Chotu wanted to tell him that he was not a beggar. His mother had told him that he should work hard to become a successfull person and never beg. But, instead he shouted, Thank you Purohit ji. And pushed his way out of the remple. He was elated, relieved. If he would have known, that his entering the temple would have made Shiv ji open his third eye, he would have done that long ago. He jumped with joy and waited outside the temple to see the third eye open.

He thought of praying, but got scared. What if Purohit ji came to know that he was praying and again screw his ears? No, he couldn’t risk his ears once again. But, his heart said something, which actually made Shiv ji, open his eyes back in heaven.

At heaven, the much dreaded third eye opened. The other gods started shaking with fear. But, instead, Shiv ji smiled. He could hear a little voice asking him to send Pralay chacha as soon as possible. And tell Pralay chacha, to give him just a packet of milk. Shiv ji, couldn’t resist laughing out loud. When the whole world, even gods dreaded the opening of his third eye, A four year old boy had the courage to ask him to open it and bring Pralay. He couldn’t resist the urge to visit his only fan, who wanted Pralay so badly. So he entered the temple. He saw Chotu, standing eagerly at the crowded gate, waiting to see his third eye open. And then all of a sudden, something happened. The crowd cleared a bit, and Chotu could see the deity of Shiv ji.

Shiv ji, opened his third eye and winked at Chotu. Chotu jumped with joy, when suddenly, he felt a strong grip pulling him from behind. With bewildered eyes, he looked behind. A young man was standing in front of him. He handed him, a packet of milk. Chotu’s bright eyes twinkled at the site of the milk. The man, gestured him to finish the milk. He tore the packet with his little teeth and drank the whole packet. The buttery taste of milk passing down his thirsty throat, made his soul dance. The man was about to leave, when Chotu pulled his hands and asked.

“Aap Pralay ho na? Purohit ji ne kaha, ki mere mandir me ghusne se, Shiv ji gussa ho jayenge, aur Pralay aa jayega. Maa ne bhi bola tha ki agar Shiv ji ne teesri aankh khol di to hamara sara dukh dard khatm ho jayega. Aur mujhe roj doodh milega. Aap Pralay chacha ho na?” ( Are you Pralay? The pandit at the temple is not allowing me to enter. He is telling that if I enter Pralay will come. Even my mother said so that Lord Shiva will open his third eye, the day you will come. Are you Pralay??)

The man smiled and said, “Haan, main huun tumhara Pralay Chacha. Tum roj subah mandir k samne mujhse milna. Mai roj tumhare liye ek packet doodh laoonga.” Chotu jumped with joy. His Shiv ji, had sent him his very own Pralay chacha.

It was late in the evening, normally Chotu would have left by this time for his home. His home was a 2 mintute walk from the temple. But, today he waited. He saw the fat bellied purohit, returning to his scooter with a bag full of goodies. Chotu, went to him and told.

“Purohit ji. Thank you so much. You were very correct, today I saw Shiv ji open his third eye. And Pralay chacha also came. He will come again tomorrow, to give me milk.”

Purohit, shrugged him away, saying “Pagal baccha.”

Little did he know, that the pagal baccha had actually witnessed a miracle, which he was incapable of, forever.

P.S. Be the Pralay in some Chotu’s life. Don’t shower god with milk, money and eatables. Give them to the needy. God doesn’t ask for the worldly things, it’s the human who does. He will be happy with a little flower. I don’t support begging, but I do support donations made to the NGO’s, Old age homes, Orphanages, the house helps. Mostly, help the small kids, come out of the slums, educate them, give them a life, gift them their very own childhood. It’s more rewarding and satisfying then loading god with gold and diamonds.

Wake up!!

Somewhere in Kolkata;

“God!! Stop this rain. Yuck!! I have to walk through this muddy puddle. It will ruin my new shoes yaar.” Sulked Alpana.

Somewhere in Kashmir border;

“I love this mud..It reminds me of our training days…mud laden…exhausted…cursing our commanders… we reached our targets. And today…once again…mud laden..cursing our enemies, we are eyeing on our targets.” grinned Major Abhi

Mere Watan walo!! Wake up..There’s more to it, than our fanciful lives. We are living our dreams because our armed forces are wide awake turning our dreams into reality. #jaihind

My strength!!!

“Do you think, my strength lies is in my arms?”

“Nay…”

“Well to clarify, it also doesn’t lie in the deepest line of my cleavage.” 

“Neither does it reside in the beautiful curves my body wears with pride.”

“Nor in my seductive dressing style.”

“Or my fatal beguiled smile.”

“It lies in my heart, endowed with a phenomenal potential to discern those deceitful touches….. those prowling eyes….those judgemental cynics….who label me, because I dare to defy their century old guidelines.”

The daughter in me…

Maa, 

The thought of leaving you, scared me to death. 

I wanted to be with you, till the last breath…

There were nights when I relentlessly cried,

I couldn’t fathom the thought, that, one day you will die. 

I promised, never to leave your side. 

But one day, I became a bride.

I struggled to accommodate you in my life,

But I was forced to accept that now I was a wife.

I would have never married; 

If I knew, that the 7year old me, would one day, be buried.

But, here I am, adding another letter to the pile…

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